Soft Blue Halo

by Ness Io Kain

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released February 22, 2016



all rights reserved


Ness Io Kain Oakland, California

Ness Io Kain died and is a ghost. No one loves her.

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Track Name: Arrows
Is this baptism, or are we being drowned?
I wasn't hiding, but somehow was never found.

We felt the pressure
To succeed by any means.
We stood tall, though;
They asked for knights, and we were queens.
I haven't spoken,
Afraid to admit you were right,
But, through the water,
I can see a little light.

I can see a little light...

I'll wince as they fire at me, but with my eyes to the air
Because these people all around me watch, and god knows all of their
Heroes are gone.
That's why I style myself a saint; I am Sebastian, I'm Irene.
I'll have to pull these arrows out myself, but when my wounds are clean,
I'll carry on.

When the arrows are out...

I can see a little light,
I can see a little light.
Track Name: Maybe Not Fall
Sometimes I wish all of these capitalist pigs who like to say
I should stop and relax and enjoy my life would just go away.

If I work hard enough, will I earn
Someone's arms to take a nap in?
A cucumber mint gimlet, a book,
And the rest of our lives will begin.
Maybe leave this behind, fall in love
With the romance of endless seas...
Maybe not fall in love at all, just
Me and a cat named Honeybees.

If a dream is all I get then I will close my eyes and keep on sleeping;
Judge me all you want, but what do you have that's really worth keeping?
You can't even reach me at my low,
It's like you live in a missile silo!

You can't even reach me at my low;
It's you who killed me, and I know.
Bury your sword, I still see red snow.
Watch the ring around my head glow.
Track Name: Space Age Camp Fires
[Back from the grave, Marvel's Phil Coulson,
Standing up like Peggy Olson
Off Mad Men; bouncing back from this again because
While you drink to forget, well, I forget to drink;
I do keep my brain busy, though, or it'll think.
That's what brains do, and I know it pains you because you dread
The day I can't calm my mind and I replace it with lead.]

Teach me to wish; show me the star
That will make me as androgynous as my Animal Crossing avatar.
See, we light these space age camp fires
For when we have nothing else 'cause our real hope expires.

[Don't tell me not to do what I do if it's to stay alive, then.
It's not your business if I want to be a spinning hard drive. When
You're ready to be honest with youself, come back;
Tell me you play worse games to keep on track.
And yours hurt other people, so I
Want nothing to do with them. k? bye.]

We see right through you, so
Who do you think you're fooling, though?
Trying not to work on yourself by
Stepping on us so you can smile when we cry.

I'm making a wish, so show me the star
That will make me as androgynous as my Animal Crossing avatar
And turn the noise in my ears to triangle waves, so as they echo
I can move on, and this changes to something I can let go.
Track Name: Please Talk to Me Again
Am I OK? I don't think I'll be.
Just want somebody to tell me,
"Meet me at Black Cat Coffee,
corner of caravan and parfait.
I know you're allergic to caffeine or whatever,
But it's a nice place to be anyway.
We'll forget about the violent creatures after you and
Lie about 'how was your day?'.
You know when you're ready to talk it out for real you
Just have to say."
Please talk to me again.
Let's be BFFs!
You be the time signature, and
I'll be the clefs.
Track Name: Always Summer, Never Solstice
Money, friends, power, fame...
Please, somebody just learn my name!
Can't set my goals up so high;
I'd settle for at least scraping by.
But sadly, it's all or nothing out here
And it's nothing for just about all of us; steer
Your eight million dollar catamaran this way.
But the wind's in your favor, and that's why you get to stay.

Ocean air and perfect trees,
The temperature and the breeze,
Wonderfully shaped clouds, and well,
Down here it's like any other hell.

California, Golden Sun,
Earth, fire, water, wind -- Everyone
Wants to be a star or a billionaire.
But not everyone is 'cause life isn't fair,
Because real life is written by the ones already at the top.
Go on, dream a little harder; you're gonna wake up; the dream will stop.
California, Golden Sun,
Earth, fire, water, wind -- Everyone
Says I'm gonna make it if I work hard enough to,
But if you're being honest, you don't really think that's true.
I guess I lucked out being born with the right color skin
But I'm not the right kind of queer, so I still don't fit in.

Ocean air and perfect trees,
The temperature and the breeze,
Wonderfully shaped clouds, and well,
Down here it's like any other hell.
Everyone wants so hard to
Be seen as one of the good ones,
They'll put a karambit in your back
To be rid of their weapons.
Love people when it feels good
To shout at folks who won't,
But when it's time to act on that love,
We can all tell you don't.
Once you've earned your Nice Person patch
And y'all feel good about yourselves,
You're just gonna put us back up on
Your Cool-Friends-I-Have shelves.
Track Name: Pals with God
My veins look like branches
On oaks after an ice storm.
It can only be
Keeping me warm.
Of course, you could just accept
I'm pals with god too.
Why does it hurt you so much
I don't look the way you do?

I don't look the way you do,
I don't look the way you do?

Still learning how to be human,
But even if I knew,
I wouldn't be the pattern set up by broken folks like you.
Track Name: 16S
My little witch body is only crystals now;
I still can't touch you because I don't know how.
But even brimstone turns
Back to blood when it burns.
Don't you think this jaundiced heart could too?
If I perform this alchemy for you?

Back to blood,
Back to blood,
Even brimstone turns right back to blood.

With your perfect circle drawn,
Pronounce the tetragrammaton.
Trace the orbits of Jupiter's moons; one of them will be me.
Cast out an ethereal thread;
Catch me before I'm truly dead,
And when I travel back around to you across the blackened sea
That spans the outer heavens,
I'll chalk lines tracing to seven
Points of a star; our Great Work will be done.
I'll be alive again and breathe like anyone.

When this brimstone turns to blood...
Track Name: 539 BCE: Babylon Kneels to the Achaemenid Empire
[But when his heart was lifted up and his spirit was hardened so that he ruled proudly, his glory was taken from him, and he was brought down from his throne. He was driven away from humanity, and his mind was made like an animal's. His body was soaked with the dew of heaven until he knew that the Most High rules over the human kingdom, and they put it in the hands of whomever they wish.]

Will you like me when you
Learn I'm a glitchpop god(dess)?
No one knows that about me;
This is no time to be modest.
Can't you read cuneiform?
The writing's on the wall.
And once I've shattered every norm,
Your empire's gonna fall.

And I know it's not the sort of thing
That tends to win a Grammy,
But it's in my blood, and I've more of that
Than Hotline Miami!

Give up your crowns and lay them on my head.
You're afraid to die? For years I've already been dead.
I can hear it if I listen close:
Your swan song's my magnum opus as sung by my ghost.
Track Name: Winterline
Lost out in the wood...
Shivering, dying here
In the bears' neighborhood.
When you find me, unload your Kalashnikov;
Please just finish me off.
Eye of Skadi --
You stop me in my tracks!
When I'm around you I
Find it hard to relax.
Why don't you pop your ult,
Lasthit me, and GG?
You could have all the pals;
For some reason you picked me.
I'm having trouble with
The way you talk to me.
Is every question a test
To see if I'm cool enough to be
Someone you'd spend time around
When you have a choice?
I'm scared and I'm slipping down;
I choke and I lose my voice.
Growing up in the frozen northlands got me wise.
Raised by wolves in sheep's clothes; guess it's no surprise
I've been ground to a fine dust like the freshly fallen snow!
Now no powder metallurgy could sinter me.
I was naive to ask, "How long could this winter be?"
Never crushed as hard by anything as the kindness you show.
Had this once; it ended rough,
And it really tore me up,
To be honest with you.
The sky
Is cloudless now, and it stays warm.
There's mountains here instead of corn,
But the ice feels like it grew.
Track Name: In a Communistic Dreamland
The lantern's too dim,
And the earth's a hole.
We expect the fall to stop and to die,
But there's never been enough light
To see the bottom.
If you've been told you can know when, that's a lie.
Same as ever,
When I get home I'll work again.
Of all the things that can end my life,
I'm most afraid of me.
So I can't stop being a lifeless machine.
If I'm not this, I am a mortal,
And I can't be.

I hope we wake up in a
Communistic dreamland too.
Believe me, I want it
At least as much as you do.
But it's the werewolf inside us
That swallows the human whole;
Go build your garden on Charon,
But you can't terraform a soul.

Even in a flawless society, half of Montana'd still be hooked on meth.
Even immaculate science will not take away the sting of death.

In a communistic dreamland...
's e aisling a bh' ann an an nèamh seo.
Track Name: Angel's Umbra
Some divine Konami code
Gave me thirty extra lives.
I will be your target girl;
Come at me with you throwing knives!

Drum beats on my ribs, bom bom bom bom bom bom bom --
I'm in the angel's umbra still.
No one can touch me now!
Go ahead and go in for the kill.

God, draw me with a soft blue halo;
Circle me in heavenly light.
Make me an icon so when they look at me, they know
They don't have any more reasons to fight.
And when they go, I'll wish them "Ban-dia leat"
And not "Dia leat" since you're not a man.
Beannaich mi... Tha mi daonna,
And I'm trying as hard as I can.